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A Chinese article that can make a stone cry – 永失我爱 (3)

Posted by Grace Feng on February 3, 2012

This article was first posted on a Chinese forum 网易(wǎng yì) by writer “春儿(chūn r)” some years ago. It was so touching and well written that people started to share it across the web.

The original article is about 10824 character long. I’ll post them in a series of posts with pinyin annotation and my own English translation. An online radio recording by 晓风(xiǎo fēng) from www.1ting.com is also placed at the beginning of each post. Please be aware that the recording has slight changes in wording here and there compared to the original article. The recording has been split into smaller parts to align with the length of each post.

Feel free to drop your comments along your reading. If you have questions, I’ll try my best to respond within 24 hours.

 

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yǒng shī wǒ ài

永失我爱 (3)

My Love Lost Forever

 

chūn r

春儿

 

yǒu háizi de rìzi shì kuàilè de, měi gè háizi gěi fùmǔ dàilái de kuàilè dōu shì wújià de, dōu shì

有孩子的日子是快乐的,每个孩子给父母带来的快乐都是无价的,都是

yǒnghéng hé zhēnshí de。

和真实的。

Those are such happy days when my child was around. The happiness that each child brings to his/her parents is priceless, eternal and real.

 

xiànzài huí xiǎngqǐ hé chòu chòu zàiyīqǐ de nà duàn shíguāng, wǒ réngrán néng gǎndào nà yī fèn cóng xīndǐ yǒng chū de

现在回想起和臭臭在一起的那段时光,我仍然能感到那一份从心底涌出的

wēnróu。

温柔。

Today when I think back on those days when Chou Chou was with me, I still can feel the softness that was generated from the bottom of my heart.

 

nàshi yīzhǒng néng ràng gāngtiě rónghuà de wēnróu。

那是一种能让钢铁融化的温柔。

That was the kind of softness that could make steel melt.

 

hái jìde tā gāng chūshēng shí, shì nàyàngde jiāoxiǎo hé chǒulòu。

还记得他刚出生时,是那样的娇小和丑陋。

I still remember the time that he was born, he’s that small and ugly.

 

hóng hóng de pífū zhòu zhòu de, xiàng yī gè xiǎo lǎotàitai。

红红的皮肤皱皱的,象一个小老太太。

With red and crumpled skin, he looked like a little Granny.

 

wǒ shènzhì bùgǎn pèng tā bùgǎn bào tā。 tā bùtíng de kū。

我甚至不敢碰他不敢抱他。他不停的哭。

I even dared not to touch him or hold him. He kept crying.

 

è yě kū, kě yě kū, lā yě kū, niào yě kū。

饿也哭,渴也哭,拉也哭,尿也哭。

He cried for hunger, he cried for thirst, he cried to poo, he cried to pee.

 

hěn cháng shíjiān wǒ cái xǐngwù, tā suǒyǒu de biǎodá fāngshì yě zhǐyǒu zhèxiē le。

很长时间我才醒悟,他所有的表达方式也只有这些了。

A long period went by before I finally realized that those are all the ways he knew to express himself.

 

yúshì kāishǐ xuéxí zěnyàng dāng yī gè hégé de mǔqīn。

于是开始学习怎样当一个合格的母亲。

Therefore I started to learn how to become a competent Mom.

 

chū wéirén mǔ de wǒ hǎoxiàng tūrán zhījiān zhǎngdà le。

初为人母的我好象突然之间长大了。

As a first time Mom I suddenly grew up.

 

hǎoxiàng yīxiàzi yǒule zérèn。

好象一下子有了责任。

Seemed like I changed into a person with responsibilities overnight.

 

yīnwèi zhège xiǎoxiǎo de shēngmìng zhǐyǒu kào wǒ cáinéng cúnhuó, tā zhǐ zài wǒ de huáilǐ cái huì gǎndào ānquán, cái

因为这个小小的生命只有靠我才能存活,他只在我的怀里才会感到安全,才

huì ānjìng de shuì, cái huì tíngzhǐ kūqì。

会安静的睡,才会停止哭泣。

That was because this little human being could only survive with the help from me, he could feel safe, fall into sleep quietly, or stop crying only in my arms.

 

dāng wǒ de shǒu qīngqīng fǔmó tā róunèn shēntǐ de shíhou, tā jiù huì bǎ tā xiǎoxiǎo de liǎnpáng niǔ xiàng wǒ, …

当我的手轻轻抚摩他柔嫩身体的时候,他就会把他小小的脸庞扭向我,…

Whenever I touched his soft body with my hand, he would turn his little face towards me …

 

… bìzhe yǎnjing, yòng tā de xiǎo zuǐ jiāojí de sìchù xúnzhǎo, bìng qīngqīng de fāchū ā ā de shēngyīn,…

…闭着眼睛,用他的小嘴焦急的四处寻找,并轻轻的发出啊啊的声音,…

… with eyes shut, reach out anxiously with his small mouth while making the sound of “ah… ah…”…

 

… jiù xiàng yī zhǐ áo’áodàibǔ de xiǎo niǎo。

…就象一只嗷嗷待哺的小鸟。

… Just like a little bird yearning to be fed.

 

měidāng tā yònglì xīshí wǒ de shíhou, wǒ huì gǎndào wǒ de shēngmìng zài qiāoqiāo de liú xiàng tā de shēntǐ。

每当他用力吸食我的时候,我会感到我的生命在悄悄的流向他的身体。

Whenever he’s sucking on me, I could feel that my life was quietly flowing into his body.

 

chángcháng, tā chī zhe chī zhe jiù huì xiē yīhuì, ránhòu mǎnzú de tóu yī wāi shuìzháo le。

常常,他吃着吃着就会歇一会,然后满足的头一歪睡着了。

Quite often, he would take a little break during feeding, then turned his head away and felt into sleep.

 

yǒudeshíhòu wǒ pà tā méi chī bǎo, hái yào qīngqīng de lā yīxià tā de ěrduo, jiàoxǐng tā jiēzhe chī。

有的时候我怕他没吃饱,还要轻轻的拉一下他的耳朵,叫醒他接着吃。

Sometimes I worried he didn’t get enough, I’d gently pull his ear to wake him up and continued to feed.

 

 

 

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