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A Chinese article that can make a stone cry – 永失我爱 (9)

Posted by Grace Feng on February 16, 2012

This article was first posted on a Chinese forum 网易(wǎng yì) by writer “春儿(chūn r)” some years ago. It was so touching and well written that people started to share it across the web.

The original article is about 10824 character long. I’ll post them in a series of posts with pinyin annotation and my own English translation. An online radio recording by 晓风(xiǎo fēng) from www.1ting.com is also placed at the beginning of each post. Please be aware that the recording has slight changes in wording here and there compared to the original article. The recording has been split into smaller parts to align with the length of each post.

Feel free to drop your comments along your reading. If you have questions, I’ll try my best to respond within 24 hours.

 

Audio clip: Adobe Flash Player (version 9 or above) is required to play this audio clip. Download the latest version here. You also need to have JavaScript enabled in your browser.

 

yǒng shī wǒ ài

永失我爱 (9)

My Love Lost Forever

 

chūn r

春儿

 

lèishuǐ zài wǒ liǎn shàng fēngkuáng de liú zhe, wǒ wúfǎ yìzhì zìjǐ de bēishāng。

泪水在我脸上疯狂的流着,我无法抑制自己的悲伤。

Tears streamed down my face crazily. I couldn’t hold back my sadness.

 

wǒ zhīdào mángmáng rénhǎi méiyǒu rén néng bāngzhù wǒ de háizi。 wǒ yě bùnéng。

我知道茫茫人海没有人能帮助我的孩子。我也不能。

I knew there’s nobody among the sea of people could help me. I couldn’t help myself either.

 

yīshēng gàosu guò wǒ: dé zhège bìng de háizi zài zǒu de shíhou liǎng zhǐ yǎnjing huì dōu xiā de, érqiě, suízhe

医生告诉过我:得这个病的孩子在走的时候两只眼睛会都瞎的,而且,随着

zhǒngliú de zhǎngdà hé yóuzǒu, liǎn bù yào biànxíng, huì cǎnbùrěndǔ。

肿瘤的长大和游走,脸部要变形,会惨不忍睹。

The doctor told me:”The child with this disease will lose vision from both eyes when they die. Moreover, with the growth and spread of the tumor, his face will be deformed, will be too hard to look at.

 

lìngyī gè hǎoxīn de yīshēng qiāoqiāo gàosu wǒ:“ bùxíng jiù sòngrén ba, fǒuzé nǐ huì shòubùliǎo de。 wǒmen céng

另一个好心的医生悄悄告诉我:“不行就送人吧,否则你会受不了的。我们曾

jiàn guò bìng de háizi, línsǐ de shíhou lián wǒmen dōu bùrěn xīn kàn le。 tài cánrěn le!”

见过病的孩子,临死的时候连我们都不忍心看了。太残忍了!”

Another nice doctor told me privately:”If you can’t handle, you can give him to other people (to take care of). Otherwise you might not able to stand it later. We did see the sick kids of this disease. Before they die even we could not bare to look at. It was just too cruel!”

 

wǒ mámù de tīng zhe。 xiǎng zhe háizi huānxiào de liǎn, wǒ bùnéng xiāngxìn zhè yīqiè dōu shì zhēn de, tā cái yī suì

我麻木的听着。想着孩子欢笑的脸,我不能相信这一切都是真的,他才一岁

sān gè yuè ā。

三个月啊。

I listened in numbness. Thinking about the smiling face of my child, I couldn’t believe it was real. Chou Chou was only one year and three months old!

 

tā de shēngmìng cái gānggang kāishǐ, nándào jiùyào jiéshù ma?

他的生命才刚刚开始,难道就要结束吗?

His life was just started, how could it end so fast?

 

yīshēng gàosu wǒ, chòu chòu xiànzài kěyǐ huàliáo, yěxǔ háiyǒu50% de xīwàng,( yīnwèi pà yǐjīng xuèyè

医生告诉我,臭臭现在可以化疗,也许还有50%的希望,(因为怕已经血液

zhuǎnyí).

转移).

The doctor told me, Chou Chou could go through chemo, then he could have 50% chance to survive, (they were concerned that the tumor had been spread into blood).

 

dànshì tā bìxū jìnxíng yǎnqiú zhāichú shǒushù, bāokuò yǎnkuàng, huàliáo de jiéguǒ shì zhè bànbiān liǎn yǒngyuǎn shì tā

但是他必须进行眼球摘除手术,包括眼眶,化疗的结果是这半边脸永远是他

yī suìshí de liǎn, ér nà bànbiān liǎn què zhèngcháng shēngzhǎng。

一岁时的脸,而那半边脸却正常生长。

But he had to go through eye enucleation, including the eye tissue. After chemo his left face would stay the way it was as one year old, the other side of face would grow normally.

 

érqiě, jíshǐ shǒushù chénggōng, huàliáo chénggōng yě zhǐnéng huó dào8 suì zuǒyòu。

而且,即使手术成功,化疗成功也只能活到8岁左右。

Even if both the operation and chemo was successful, he could only live up to about 8 years old.

 

wǒ zhēn de hěnxiǎng gěi tā huàliáo, dāngshí wǒ fēngkuáng de zhuā zhe yīshēng de shǒu yīgèjìn de hǎn:“ gěi tā zuòshǒu

我真的很想给他化疗,当时我疯狂的抓着医生的手一个劲的喊:“给他做手

shù。 zuò shǒushù!”

术。做手术!”

I did want to let him do chemo, I grabbed the doctor’s hand and cried crazily:”Give him operation, give him operation!”

 

dàn wǒ yě qīngchu de zhīdào, zhè duì cái yī suì duō de háizi láijiǎng tài tòngkǔ le, gèng cánrěn de shì rúguǒ tā

但我也清楚的知道,这对才一岁多的孩子来讲太痛苦了,更残忍的是如果他

huó dào8 suì, dǒngshì yǐhòu, tā de tòngkǔ yě shì bùkě xiǎngxiàng de。

活到8岁,懂事以后,他的痛苦也是不可想象的。

But it was also clear to me that operation and chemo were just too much for a one year old baby. It is even more cruel that if he could live up to eight, when he already understood things, his suffering would be unthinkable.

 

yīnwèi tā nán táo yī sǐ ā…… wǒ zuòmèng yě méixiǎngdào wǒ de háizi huì dé zhèyàng de bìng。

因为他难逃一死啊……我做梦也没想到我的孩子会得这样的病。

Since he can’t escape death no matter what … I never ever thought that my child could have this kind of disease, not even in my dreams.

 

wǒmen jiā hé ài rénjiā dōu méiyǒu yíchuán shǐ, wǒmen bùshì jìnqīn。

我们家和爱人家都没有遗传史,我们不是近亲。

None of my lover’s family or my family has this genetic disease, we are not related in blood either.

 

 

zài huáiyùn de shíhou wǒ xiǎoxīn de lián diànshì dōu bùgǎn kàn。 wèishénme huì shì zhèyàng ne?

在怀孕的时候我小心的连电视都不敢看。为什么会是这样呢?

When I was pregnant I was so careful that even to avoid watching TV (worried about the slightest radiation exposure). How could this happened?

 

 

Related posts:

A Chinese article that can make a stone cry – 永失我爱 (19)
Owner of the largest real estate entreprise in China challenge himself to pick up English at age 60
Humor in Chinese for Beginner to Elementary Chinese students - 穷人和强盗 [The Poor man and the Robber]

 

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2 Responses to “A Chinese article that can make a stone cry – 永失我爱 (9)”

  1. nothing

    learning a language:

    04-15-2012 1:18 am

    Hey! This is my first comment here so I just wanted to give a quick shout out and tell you I truly enjoy reading your articles. Can you recommend any other blogs/websites/forums that deal with the same topics? Appreciate it!

    Reply

    • nothing

      Grace:

      04-15-2012 1:22 am

      Please check my resources page, thanks…

      Reply

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