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A Chinese article that can make a stone cry – 永失我爱 (22)

Posted by Grace Feng on March 8, 2012

A Chinese article that can make a stone cry – 永失我爱 (22)This article was first posted on a Chinese forum 网易(wǎng yì) by writer “春儿(chūn r)” some years ago. It was so touching and well written that people started to share it across the web.

The original article is about 10824 character long. I’ll post them in a series of posts with pinyin annotation and my own English translation. An online radio recording by 晓风(xiǎo fēng) from www.1ting.com is also placed at the beginning of each post. Please be aware that the recording has slight changes in wording here and there compared to the original article. The recording has been split into smaller parts to align with the length of each post.

Feel free to drop your comments along your reading. If you have questions, I’ll try my best to respond within 24 hours.

 

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yǒng shī wǒ ài

永失我爱 (22)

My Love Lost Forever

 

chūn r

春儿

 

wǒ de háizi, wǒ de chòu chòu。 wǒ zhīdào nǐ yīdìng jìnletiāntáng le, zài tiāntáng lǐ, nǐ méiyǒu le tòngkǔ。

我的孩子,我的臭臭。我知道你一定进了天堂了,在天堂里,你没有了痛苦。

My child, my Chou Chou, I know you must have gone to heaven. In heaven, you won’t have pain anymore.

 

nǐ yòu yōngyǒu yī shuāng míngliàng de yǎnjing。

你又拥有一双明亮的眼睛。

You will have a pair of bright eyes again.

 

dàn wǒ yě mèng dào tā pā zài wǒ de ěr biān qīngshēng wèn wǒ:“ māma, nǐ wèishénme bù gěi wǒ zhìbìng ā?”

但我也梦到他趴在我的耳边轻声问我:“妈妈,你为什么不给我治病啊?”

I also dreamed that he whispered to my ear:”Mommy, why didn’t you give me medical treatment?”

 

zài mèng lǐ wǒ wúyǔ。

在梦里我无语。

I said nothing to that question in the dream.

 

wǒ mèng wǒ bèi zhe tā, hūrán shuāidǎo le。

我梦我背着他,忽然摔倒了。

I dreamed I was carrying him on my back, suddenly we felt down.

 

tā xiàng wǒ gāoshēng hūhǎn:“ māma, bùyào diūxià wǒ!” wǒ jiāndìng de gàosu tā:“ chòu chòu, māma yǒngyuǎn

他向我高声呼喊:“妈妈,不要丢下我!”我坚定的告诉他:“臭臭,妈妈永远

bùhuì fàngqì nǐ。”

不会放弃你。”

He called out to me loudly:”Mommy, don’t leave me!” I told him assuringly:” Chou Chou, Mommy will never give up on you.”

 

jìde, chòu chòu zǒu hòu, àiren dài wǒ dào hǎibiān sànxīn de shíhou, tā ràng wǒ kàn shātān shàng de jiǎoyìn.

记得,臭臭走后,爱人带我到海边散心的时候,他让我看沙滩上的脚印.

I still remember some time after Chou Chou left, my lover took me for a walk along the sea. He asked me to look at the footprint in the beach sand.

 

tā gàosu wǒ:“ chūn r, nǐ kàn, zài shēn de jiǎoyìn dūhuì bèi hǎishuǐ mǒqù, zài tòng de shāngkǒu yě huì ràng shí

他告诉我:“春儿,你看,再深的脚印都会被海水抹去,再痛的伤口也会让时

jiān fǔpíng。 yīqiè dūhuì hǎoqǐlai de。”

间抚平。一切都会好起来的。”

He told me:”Chunr, look, no matter how deep the footprint is, it will be erased by the sea wave for sure. no matter how painful the wound is, it will be cured by time. Everhthing will be OK in time.”

 

shìde, wǒ zhīdào yīqiè dūhuì hǎoqǐlai, wǒ yě jiānxìn wǒmen huì hǎoqǐlai de。

是的,我知道一切都会好起来,我也坚信我们会好起来的。

Yes, I know everything will be OK eventually, and I believe we’ll get better for sure.

 

yīnwèi wǒmen hái zài! zhìshǎo wǒ háiyǒu nǐ。 wǒ de àiren。

因为我们还在!至少我还有你。我的爱人。

Just because we are all together! At least we have each other, my lover.

 

dànshì, yǒuxiē shāngtòng shì shíjiān zěnme yě mò bù qù de。 nàshi xiē kànbujiàn de, bù liúxuè de shāngkǒu。

但是,有些伤痛是时间怎么也抹不去的。那是些看不见的,不流血的伤口。

kěyǐ yǎngài kěyǐ shēn cáng, dàn yǒngyuǎn bùnéng yùhé。

可以掩盖可以深藏,但永远不能愈合。

However, some wounds can never be cured by time. Those are the invisible, non-bleeding wounds. You can hide or conceal them, but they will never be cured.

 

měi yīcì nǐ xiānkāi kàn de shíhou dōu shì xiān xuèlínlín, měi yīcì nǐ bù xiǎoxīn pèngchù de shíhou dūhuì ràng

每一次你掀开看的时候都是鲜血淋淋,每一次你不小心碰触的时候都会让

nǐ tòng chè xīn fèi ā。

你痛彻心肺啊。

Each time you reveal them, you could only see blood. Each time you touch them, it hurts inside out.

 

jiànjiàn de lèishuǐ shǎo le, yīnwèi shēnghuó hái yào jìxù。

渐渐的泪水少了,因为生活还要继续。

Little by little, my tears tide down, since life still needs to go on.

 

zài háizi bìng de shíhou, wǒ de àiren、 fùmǔ、 péngyou gěi le wǒ wúsī de ài。

在孩子病的时候,我的爱人、父母、朋友给了我无私的爱。

When my child was sick, I received so much selfless love and support from my lover, my parents, and my friends.

 

wèile yīqiè ài wǒ de rén, wǒ yào huóxiàqù。

为了一切爱我的人,我要活下去。

For all those loved me, I have to move on.

 

dànshì wǒ zhēn de bùzài wèijù sǐwáng le, yīnwèi wǒ zhīdào, zài shēngmìng de jìntóu, zài shìjiè de lìngyī

但是我真的不再畏惧死亡了,因为我知道,在生命的尽头,在世界的另一

duān, wǒ de háizi, wǒ de chòu chòu zài děng zhe wǒ。

端,我的孩子,我的臭臭在等着我。

But I’m not afraid of death anymore, since I know, in the end of my life, at the other end of the world, my child, my Chou Chou is waiting for me.

 

jiànjiàn de wǒ kěyǐ zài péngyou miànqián píngjìng de tán qǐ wǒ de chòu chòu, jiù rú shuōqǐ biéren jiā de háizi yī

渐渐的我可以在朋友面前平静的谈起我的臭臭,就如说起别人家的孩子一

yàng。

样。

Little by little I could talk about my Chou Chou calmly to my friends, just like taking about a neighbor’s child.

 

wǒ wēixiào, yīnwèi wǒ zhīdào wǒ de chòu chòu yě xīwàng wǒ kāixīn。

我微笑,因为我知道我的臭臭也希望我开心。

I smile, because I know Chou Chou love to see me happy.

 

suīrán chángcháng zài jìjìng de shēnyè wǒ lèiliúmǎnmiàn, chángcháng bào qǐ biéren jiā de háizi bù fàng;

虽然常常在寂静的深夜我泪流满面,常常抱起别人家的孩子不放;

Although I always fall in tears in the deep night; Always hold other people’s child and don’t want to let go;

 

chángcháng zài gěi péngyou de háizi mǎi yīfu de shíhou fādāi, xiǎngxiàng chòu chòu zhǎngdà shí de múyàng;

常常在给朋友的孩子买衣服的时候发呆,想象臭臭长大时的模样;

Always get carried away when shopping for friends’ child, dreaming about the look of Chou Chou when he grew up;

 

chángcháng bù gǎn zài wánjù chē guìtái qián tíngliú; chángcháng yī jìn yīyuàn jiù bùyóuzìzhǔ de duōsuo……

常常不敢在玩具车柜台前停留;常常一进医院就不由自主的哆嗦……

Always run away from toy car section in the mall; always shake uncontrollably when entering hospital …

 

péngyou dōu shuō wǒ hěn jiānqiáng, wǒ tīngdào hòu zǒngshì dàndàn de wēixiào。

朋友都说我很坚强,我听到后总是淡淡的微笑。

Friends say how strong I am, I will just smile at it.

 

shì ā。 wǒ shì jiānqiáng。 nàshi yīnwèi wǒ wúlùkětuì, miànduì kǔnàn。 wǒ zhǐnéng xuǎnzé jiānqiáng!

是啊。我是坚强。那是因为我无路可退,面对苦难。我只能选择坚强!

Yes, I am strong, That’s because I don’t have other choice. In the face of suffering, all I can do is being strong!

 

 

Related posts:

A Chinese article that can make a stone cry – 永失我爱 (9)
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Learn one Chinese idiom, one Chinese sentence pattern by reading one joke in Chinese [Beginner]

 

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