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A Chinese article that can make a stone cry – 永失我爱 (14)

Posted by Grace Feng on February 25, 2012

A Chinese article that can make a stone cry – 永失我爱 (14)This article was first posted on a Chinese forum 网易(wǎng yì) by writer “春儿(chūn r)” some years ago. It was so touching and well written that people started to share it across the web.

The original article is about 10824 character long. I’ll post them in a series of posts with pinyin annotation and my own English translation. An online radio recording by 晓风(xiǎo fēng) from www.1ting.com is also placed at the beginning of each post. Please be aware that the recording has slight changes in wording here and there compared to the original article. The recording has been split into smaller parts to align with the length of each post.

Feel free to drop your comments along your reading. If you have questions, I’ll try my best to respond within 24 hours.

 

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yǒng shī wǒ ài

永失我爱 (14)

My Love Lost Forever

 

   chūn r

      春儿

 

kàn zhe tā zài bù téngtòng de shíjiān rènzhēn de wán, duì wǒ shì yīzhǒng xiǎngshòu hé xìngfú。

看着他在不疼痛的时间认真的玩,对我是一种享受和幸福。

Watching him playing when he was not in pain, to me, is enjoyable and happy.

 

xiàbān de shíhou, wǒ jiù yòng mótuōchē dài zhe tā qù jiāowài wán, ràng tā rènshi shénme shì niú、 yáng、

下班的时候,我就用摩托车带着他去郊外玩,让他认识什么是牛、羊、兔子、

tùzi、 gǒu、 huā、 yāzi……

狗、花、鸭子……

I used to use my motocycle to take him to the outskirts after work. I let him to know what is cow, goat, rabbit, dog, flower and duck…

 

wǒ xīwàng zài tā yǒuxiàn de shēngmìng lǐ jǐnliàng ràng tā gǎndào kuàilè。

我希望在他有限的生命里尽量让他感到快乐。

I hoped he could know as much happiness as he could during his short lifetime.

 

suīrán tā chángcháng bànlù gàosu wǒ:“ māma, wǒ de yǎnjing nánshòu。”

虽然他常常半路告诉我:“妈妈,我的眼睛难受。”

Although he often told me on the way:” Mommy, my eye doesn’t feel comfortable.”

 

ér wǒ zhǐnéng qīngqīng de tì tā róu róu yǎnjing, ránhòu gàosu tā:“ chòu chòu, méishì le, māma zài, nǐ bào

而我只能轻轻的替他揉揉眼睛,然后告诉他:“臭臭,没事了,妈妈在,你抱

zhe māma jiù bù nánshòu le。”

着妈妈就不难受了。”

All I could do was to massage his eye gently and told him:” Chou Chou, it’s OK, Mommy is here, hold me tight, you’ll be OK.”

 

wǒ huì bǎ tā jǐnjǐn de bào zài wǒ de huáilǐ, qīngqīng de wěn tā。 lái fēnxiǎng tā de tòng。

我会把他紧紧的抱在我的怀里,轻轻的吻他。来分享他的痛。

I would hold him tightly in my arms, kiss him gently to share his pain.

 

wǒ cháng gěi tā jiǎng gùshi。 jiǎng Gélín tónghuà, Āntúshēng tónghuà, jiǎng365 yè, wǒ gěi tā dìng《 wáwa huà

我常给他讲故事。讲格林童话,安徒生童话,讲365夜,我给他订《娃娃画

bào》, wǒmen de yóuxì jiùshì yīqǐ bǎ gùshi jiǎng xiàqu。

报》,我们的游戏就是一起把故事讲下去。

I used to read stories to him. Stories from Green, Anderson, 365 nights. I booked Wa Wa magazine for him. One of our games was to tell stories together.

 

wǒ jiǎng shàng jù, tā jiǎng xià jù。 wǒ xiān jiǎng:“ cóngqián ā。” tā jiù jiēzhe:“ yǒu yī gè piàoliang de xiǎo gūniang。”

我讲上句,他讲下句。我先讲:“从前啊。”他就接着:“有一个漂亮的小姑娘。”

wǒ wèn:“ tā jiào shénme?”“ tā jiào Xiǎohóngmào”……

我问:“她叫什么?”“她叫小红帽”……

I started one sentence, he completed the next. I said:” Once upon a time…” He would continue: ” There was a beautiful little girl …” I asked:”What’s her name?” “Little Red Riding Hood.” …

 

wǒ hái wèn tā:“ chòu chòu, māma piàoliang ma?” tā yě zǒngshì huídá:“ māma piàoliang。”

我还问他:“臭臭,妈妈漂亮吗?”他也总是回答:“妈妈漂亮。”

I asked him again:”Chou Chou, is Mommy beautiful?” He always said:”Mommy is beautiful.”

 

wǒ jiù gàosu tā:“ nà nǐ jiù shuō māma bìyuèxiūhuā, chényúluòyàn。”

我就告诉他:“那你就说妈妈闭月羞花,沉鱼落雁。”

Then I’d tell him:”Then you say Mommy is unbelievable pretty and unbelievable beautiful.”

 

tā yě zǒngshì zài wǒ hé àiren de xiàoshēng zhōng yībiān wán zhe xiǎoqìchē, yībiān suíkǒu chóngfù zhe。 suīrán tā gēn

他也总是在我和爱人的笑声中一边玩着小汽车,一边随口重复着。虽然他根

běn bùdǒng nàshi shénme yìsi。

本不懂那是什么意思。

He would repeat what I taught him while playing his cars in our laughters, without knowing what he was repeating.

 

nàshi yī duàn duōme kuàilè de shíguāng。

那是一段多么快乐的时光。

That was a period of the happiest days.

 

tā xǐhuan huǒchē, měicì tā kàn dào huǒchē kāi lái de shíhou, tā jiù hǎn yéye jiāo tā dehuà:“ huǒchē, huǒ

他喜欢火车,每次他看到火车开来的时候,他就喊爷爷教他的话:“火车,火

chē, kuài kuàipǎo, kuài bǎ chòu chòu de bìng dàizǒu!”

车,快快跑,快把臭臭的病带走!”

He liked trains, every time he spotted the train coming, he would shout the rhymes that his grandpa taught him:” Train, train, go fast, take Chou Chou’s illness away.”

 

ér tā qīngcuì tiānzhēn de shēngyīn zǒngshì yānmò zài lónglóng de huǒchē shēng zhōng。

而他清脆天真的声音总是淹没在隆隆的火车声中。

His clear and childish voice would always get buried in the rumbling sound of the train.

 

( wǒ de lèi yě zǒngshì mòmò de huáluò) tā měitiān dōu hē yī píng niúnǎi, hē wán hòu jiù yòng shǒu mō zhe wǒ de jī

(我的泪也总是默默的滑落)他每天都喝一瓶牛奶,喝完后就用手摸着我的肌

fū rùshuì。

肤入睡。

(My tears would slide down my face silently.) He drank a glass of milk everyday, when he finished he would fall into sleep with his hand touched my skin.

 

wǒ shēn zhe wǒ de zuǒ shǒubì jǐnjǐn de lǒuzhù tā。

我伸着我的左手臂紧紧的搂住他。

I stretched out my left arm to scoop him in.

 

wén zhe tā shēnshang dàndàn de nǎi xiāng de wèidao, tīng zhe tā jūnyún de hūxī。

闻着他身上淡淡的奶香的味道,听着他均匀的呼吸。

I smelled his body smell, listened to his peaceful breathing.

 

wǒ yòng shǒu fǔmó tā de shēntǐ, xiǎoxiǎo de róuruǎn de shēntǐ。 hé tā xì xì de xiǎo biànzi。

我用手抚摩他的身体,小小的柔软的身体。和他细细的小辫子。

I touched his body with my hand, his little soft body and his skinny pigtail.

 

zhè shì wǒ shì érzi ā。( xiànzài, wǒ chángcháng zài mèngzhōng jīngxǐng de shíhou, wǒ de shǒubì yīrán shēn de zhí zhí

这是我儿子啊。(现在,我常常在梦中惊醒的时候,我的手臂依然伸的直直

de, yīrú chòu chòu hái shuì zài wǒ de shēnbiān)

的,一如臭臭还睡在我的身边)

That was my son. (Even now, I used to wake up from my dream, my arm is still stretched out long , as if Chou Chou was still sleeping beside me.)

 

 

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