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A Chinese article that can make a stone cry – 永失我爱 (10)

Posted by Grace Feng on February 17, 2012

This article was first posted on a Chinese forum 网易(wǎng yì) by writer “春儿(chūn r)” some years ago. It was so touching and well written that people started to share it across the web.

The original article is about 10824 character long. I’ll post them in a series of posts with pinyin annotation and my own English translation. An online radio recording by 晓风(xiǎo fēng) from www.1ting.com is also placed at the beginning of each post. Please be aware that the recording has slight changes in wording here and there compared to the original article. The recording has been split into smaller parts to align with the length of each post.

Feel free to drop your comments along your reading. If you have questions, I’ll try my best to respond within 24 hours.

 

Audio clip: Adobe Flash Player (version 9 or above) is required to play this audio clip. Download the latest version here. You also need to have JavaScript enabled in your browser.

 

yǒng shī wǒ ài

永失我爱 (10)

My Love Lost Forever

 

chūn r

春儿

 

nàtiān wǎnshang wǒ hé àiren zuòchū le wǒmen yīshēng zuì nán zuò de juédìng。

那天晚上我和爱人做出了我们一生最难做的决定。

That night my lover and I made the most difficult decision in our lifetime.

 

wǒ qīngchu de jìde zài zuòchū zhège juédìng shí wǒ nà jiānqiáng de àiren nà zhāng méiyǒu xuèsè de liǎn hé bēishāng

我清楚的记得在做出这个决定时我那坚强的爱人那张没有血色的脸和悲伤

de yǎnjing。

的眼睛。

I still clearly remember that pale face and sad eyes of my strong lover when we made the decision.

 

wǒ duì wǒ àiren kuáng hǎn:“ bùkěyǐ! yīshēng shuō ruò bù zuò shǒushù, háizi huì shuāng mù shīmíng de, zuìhòu shuāng

我对我爱人狂喊:“不可以!医生说若不做手术,孩子会双目失明的,最后双

yǎn huìzhǎng chū càihuā yīyàng de dōngxi, tóu yě yào biànxíng de, wǒ gāi zěnmebàn!…

眼会长出菜花一样的东西,头也要变形的,我该怎么办!…

I cried out to him:” We can’t do this! The doctor said if we don’t give him operation, our child will lose vision on both sides. In the end his eyes will grow out broccoli like things, his head will be deformed too. By that time what I should do!

 

… dāng chòu chòu shēn zhe shuāngshǒu hūhuàn wǒ:“ māma, nǐ zài nǎlǐ?” shí, wǒ gāi zěnmebàn ā? wǒ huì fēng

…当臭臭伸着双手呼唤我:“妈妈,你在哪里?”时,我该怎么办啊?我会疯

de! zuò shǒushù ba!…

的!做手术吧!…

…When Chou Chou reach out his hands to me and call out: ‘Mommy, where are you?’ What I can do? I’ll go mad! Let’s do the operation!…

 

… bùguǎn jiéguǒ zěnyàng, wǒmen dōu bùhuì hòuhuǐ de, jiùsuàn shì qīngjiādàngchǎn, wān gǔ tī ròu yě yào gěi tā

…不管结果怎样,我们都不会后悔的,就算是倾家荡产,剜骨剔肉也要给他

zhì ā!…

治啊!…

…No matter what turn out in the end, we won’t regret. Even if we have to exhaust all we have, or cut out our flesh and bones, we should let him to get the treatment!…

 

bìjìng háiyǒu yī sī de xīwàng ā! wǒ bùnéng yǎnzhēngzhēng de kàn zhe wǒ de háizi sǐqù!”

毕竟还有一丝的希望啊!我不能眼睁睁的看着我的孩子死去!”

After all there’s still a tiny hope! We can not watch our child to die like this!”

 

miànduì zhe wǒ de xiēsīdǐlǐ, wǒ àiren shǐjìn de bào zhe fēngkuáng de wǒ, xiàng wǒ hǒu dào:“ chūn r, nǐ qīng

面对着我的歇斯底里,我爱人使劲的抱着疯狂的我,向我吼道:“春儿,你清

xǐng yīdiǎn!…

醒一点!…

In the face of my madness, my lover hold the crazy me tightly, shouting out:”Chuner, you have to calm down!…

 

… nǐ nándào ràng chòu chòu cháng dào kěyǐ zhìwèn nǐ: māma, wǒ wèishénme bùnéng huó xiàlai de shíhou ma?…

…你难道让臭臭长到可以质问你:妈妈,我为什么不能活下来的时候吗?…

… Could you let Chou Chou to grow old enough to question you: ‘Mommy, why can’t I live?’…

 

… nǐ nándào ràng tā jiù yòng yī zhǐ yǎnjing lái miànduì zhège lěngkù de shìshí ma?…

…你难道让他就用一只眼睛来面对这个冷酷的事实吗?…

…Could you let him face the cruel reality with just one eye? …

 

… nǐ nándào ràng tā bǎoshòu shēntǐ de cuīcán hái yào miànduì nàxiē hàoqí de mùguāng ma?”

…你难道让他饱受身体的摧残还要面对那些好奇的目光吗?”

…Could you let him to stand all the curious looks cast on him after all those sufferings?”

 

suīrán shì chūxià, dàn nà wǎn de fēng zhēn de hěn lěng, wǒmen jiù zuò zài bīngliáng de táijiē shàng jǐnjǐn de yīwēi

虽然是初夏,但那晚的风真的很冷,我们就坐在冰凉的台阶上紧紧的依偎

zhe, jǐnjǐn de háizi, yuánliàng fùmǔ ba!

着.可怜的孩子,原谅父母吧!

Although it was the beginning of summer, the wind that night was so cold. We were sitting on the ice cold stairs, leaned on each other closely. My poor child, please forgive your parents!

 

wǒmen shì cánrěn de, dàn yě shì wúnài de! wǒmen bìxū zhèyàng juédìng。

我们是残忍的,但也是无奈的!我们必须这样决定。

We were cruel, but we had no other choice. We had to make such a decision.

 

wǒmen nìngyuàn ràng nǐ kuàikuàilèlè de huó shàng yī nián, zài nǐ shénme yě bùdǒng de shíhou zǒu, yě bùyào nǐ shòu

我们宁愿让你快快乐乐的活上一年,在你什么也不懂的时候走,也不要你受

jìn zhémó de zǒu。

尽折磨的走。

We’d let you live for just one year in happiness, leave when you don’t understand anything yet. Rather than let you die slowly after all kinds of torture.

 

suīrán wǒ zhīdào zhège juédìng huì ràng wǒ bǎ nèijiù bēifù yīshēng。

虽然我知道这个决定会让我把内疚背负一生。

Although I know I’ll be guilty for my whole lifetime for this decision.

 

 

Related posts:

A Chinese article that can make a stone cry – 永失我爱 (7)
A Chinese article that can make a stone cry – 永失我爱 (17)
Listen to lecture in Chinese from an super Internet Icon - Jack Ma

 

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4 Responses to “A Chinese article that can make a stone cry – 永失我爱 (10)”

  1. nothing

    Barry:

    02-18-2012 12:01 pm

    请问Grace、我想从1ting.com上下载这个录音,一边听录音一边读你的文章。你知不知道我应该首先报名吗?

    Reply

  2. nothing

    Barry:

    02-18-2012 10:09 pm

    Hello Grace,
    Oh, so it is your voice I can hear reading the story! You read very well.
    Thanks for the link, I shall download and listen to it.
    I just happened upon your blog by chance….you posted some comment on ‘Popupchinese’ (which I like to read and listen to)and, out of curiosity I visited your blog. No, I do not read it from a feed….is there a link to one on your site?

    Reply

    • nothing

      Grace:

      02-19-2012 12:31 am

      Barry, sorry I confused you. The voice is not mine.

      I used a software to record the voice directly from my computer while playing the recording on 1ting.com.

      As for the feed, I’m working on that, as well as Twitter and Facebook links. However, I’ve seen some readers are already taking feed from this blog, no idea how… :-)

      Grace

      Reply

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